By Stephen Kunk►
With the post-coronavirus return of the NBA, the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, is abuzz with basketball superstars, referees, media personnel, and...prostitutes?
Yes, you read that right. Prostitutes.
The NBA realizes that keeping some of the world's greatest athletes in isolation for weeks and months at a time can lead to sexual stressors. In an effort to assuage the tension, the league has seen fit to admit a steady stream of escorts into the NBA "bubble."
Each day, approximately 120 ladies of the night (and a handful of gentlemen) culled from Florida's finest escort services are admitted to the complex. Before entering the Disney World venue, all involved sex workers are pre-screened for COVID-19, among other diseases. They service the Eastern and Western Conference teams who qualified for the restart on alternating days.
"I'd prefer two every day to one every two days," said the Houston Rockets' points scoring leader, who wished to remain nameless. "But we all have to make sacrifices."
In some cases, prices vary. For instance, prostitutes servicing Alex Caruso are insisting upon $500 for any contact whatsoever with the Lakers' gawky, balding shooting guard.
And how do members of non-qualifying teams feel about these conjugal visits bankrolled by The Association?
"I get multiple hoes nightly for free," said a Detroit Pistons power forward, who also wished to remain anonymous. "I'm almost glad we didn't make the playoffs."
