By Stephen Kunk ►
Donald
Trump is many things: real estate mogul, reality TV star, President
of the United States, and potentially even a Nobel Peace Prize
winner. Now he can also add video game star to his incomparable
resume, as he will be appearing as a playable character in the next edition of Mortal
Kombat.
According
to a leak from NetherRealm Studios in the midst of E3, the 45th POTUS will grace the lineup of Kombatants in 2019’s Mortal
Kombat 11 (as the game is tentatively known). Trump will be available right out
of the case as a “semi-hidden” character—that is, he will only
be selectable for use against fighters belonging to visible
minorities. You read that right—in single player mode, Trump’s
tower consists entirely of female and non-Caucasian opponents.
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Screenshot from the 3DS version:
How will Trump FINISH HER!?
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The
leak also highlights key details of Trump’s backstory, fitting him into
the MK universe. Looking to expand his real estate empire, the Donald
began development on a Trump Tower in Outworld. During this time, he
became acquainted with Sheeva, a four-armed female from the half-human, half-dragon Shokan race. By Sheeva’s account, one
morning she encountered Trump in a Tower elevator and he
kissed her directly on the mouth, and then began groping her breasts.
Too shocked to retaliate in the moment, and unable to register a sexual
misconduct grievance through the complicated Outworld legal system, Sheeva seeks
her revenge on Trump in the Mortal Kombat tournament.
Trump’s
fighting style will be based upon professional wrestling maneuvers, as well as verbally-launched projectiles. Finishing moves
are of course a hallmark of the MK
series, and also described in the leak was one of Trump’s fatalities.
This involves grabbing his opponent by (you guessed it) their
genitalia and then ripping out their entire reproductive tract.
Trump
has already teased his full endorsement of the game on Twitter:
The
new Mortal
Kombat
is set for release on PS4, Xbox One and 3DS in Spring 2019. A
percentage of the proceeds from every unit sold will go towards
building the border wall with Mexico. Outstanding? No…Tremendous!
