Santa Supports Donald Trump

By Stephen Kunk ►

NORTH POLE (AP) - After centuries of silence on matters political, Santa Claus has thrown his white-bobbled hat into partisan politics. Evidently, the suit is red for a reason, because Santa is a dyed in the wool Republican.

A press release issued last week from the North Pole's public relations department announced that Santa will back Donald Trump's 2020 re-election bid. This will involve a series of campaign donations to Republicans at the federal and state levels, as well as a seven-figure contribution to the GoFundMe page for the border wall with Mexico.

In past election years, Santa has given generously to both Republican and Democratic campaigns. In 2020, however, it seems the Dems have made it to the top of his naughty list.

"With the influx of immigrants in the  past five years," the press release explained, "Santa has found it increasingly difficult to meet annual Christmas demands. So long as immigrants, both illegal and legal, continue to strive for middle-class lifestyles in America and other developed countries, present quotas will become more and more unreasonable, making an already hectic Christmas Eve delivery schedule nigh impossible."

Republicans across the United States, children and grownup alike, have embraced Santa's landmark political move with enthusiasm, including none more unbridled than Donald Trump himself:

Despite this outpouring of support in high places, not everyone is pleased with Santa's foray into party politics. Dasher and Dancer, vocal Democratic supporters in the past, have already threatened to boycott all yuletide activities, including the epic Christmas Eve sleigh ride.

Reindeer political games aside, Santa's decision comes as welcome news for residents of the North Pole. Saint Nick's projected partnership with Trump is a particular relief for the elves in his employ, especially amid long-persisting rumors that they've been slated for replacement by migrant Mexican workers.


Stephen Kunk lives on the Oregon coast with his wife and two daughters. They are all card-carrying Whigs. 

Image Credits: One part of this image was blatantly appropriated from This is technically a parody, so we at Ewedrooper assume we'll get off the hook legally on those grounds. The Trump part of the image, meanwhile, was originally created by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America [CC BY-SA 2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons.